April 24 @ some bar in Amsterdam
I arrived at the airport at 4pm and Magali -my cousin and host for the weekend- had to work till 7pm, so I thought I could walk around and see some of the city till that time came... well, it didn't quite happen that as planned. First of all, I rode the wrong train. Every sign was in Dutch, so I decided to be "adventurous" and hop on the first train that arrived at the station, hoping it would take me where I needed to go. After 20 minutes, the city landscape transformed into plenty of green land with cows, sheep and farm houses. "Mhmmm... this doesn't look like I'm going anywhere near the city center" I thought. To answer my question, an inspector shows up 2 minutes after my realization. He asked for my ticket and naively I asked "Oh, where do I buy one?" "You can buy it from me, but it's gonna cost you 30 Euros, cause you had 40 windows where to buy from. Where are you going?" He asked, realizing that I was completely lost. "Amsterdam Center" "It's the other way. Get off at the next station, BUY A TICKET and take the train that goes in the opposite direction" I thank him for being nice enough to not charge me and did as he said. The next stop came 15 minutes later... I was really far from where I wanted to go. It ended up taking me two hours total to get from the airport to the central station but at least I got to see some pretty landscape...
Once at the central station, thanks to my photographic memory, I was able to find my way to Magali's house (an hour walk). SO I walked... for an hour... with my bags... but to be honest I was feeling quite light, as I always feel when I travel alone. I walked away from the touristic area to keep away from tourists and really experience the city as is; I walked and looked around, kept walking as I observed people, took pictures and took it all in. When I began to feel tired, oh surprise, my final destination was right ahead. I was eager to take a nap and a warm shower -it was 8pm already- to recharge my batteries before heading out again to experience the night. Too bad my host wasn't home and her number wasn't in my phone, as I presumed... But instead of getting frustrated, which would have definitely been easier, I went to the supermarket, bought myself some Mexican salad and had dinner at her doorstep, hoping she would show up soon. After an hour, dinner was finished and my calmness dissipated. I texted Giacomo -the Italian boy I met on my first trip there- asking if he still had Magali's phone number, which I gave to him the night we met. His answer was bizarre, I'm not sure he understood what I was asking for. No luck with the ragazzo... Shize! Now what?? Ok, neighbors. I met them in a party in February, maybe they would remember me. I knocked on their door and the guy let me in... how nice! I went online, looked in my facebook messages for her number but no luck either. However, Nahuel - my best friend's brother with whom I stayed at Magali's back in February- happened to be online and kind of saved the day. Kind of, cause her phone was off. The kind neighbour offered me to open the "party room" so I could wait there. Conveniently enough, it had a bed and I decided to rest till whenever... by now it was 10pm and I was loosing interest in going to party the night away. I really wanted to get going, but I couldn't leave until I got in touch with this girl.
At 11:30pm I was waken by Giacomo's phone call. Fuck, I had fallen asleep... he wanted to make sure I was "in". He was on his way home and we agreed on meeting the next day...
Today is the next day, I haven't seen him yet and I can't say I'm not eager to do so, I kinda like the guy... but whatever. Things never go as planned, unless your plan is truly the best choice. Anyways, there's so much I wanna do that I need to take it slowly; if not anxiety gets hold of me and that's for sure not the best choice. I have decided to go wherever the wind takes me. I walked for a while, found a nice coffee shop away from tourists, had a moment with the guy at the counter, then a moment with some other guy who was smoking hash but complained that weed makes people crazy... "Depends who and what you mean by crazy" I said, and continued my journey... I took the streetcar to the center and met up with Milan, Joan and Laura, who weren't too... mhmmm... well, fully there... so I decided to split after an hour or so. I bought some clothes at the Turkish market... walked some more and ended up at this bar.
Anyhow, my beer is finished. I'm gonna keep walking. Tonight is coming soon and I'm meeting the ragazzo...
April 25 @ Loft Coffee Shop
The persistence of time
has carried me away.
I try to make moments last forever
cause I find it too hard to let go.
Let go of everything...
Let go of time...
I need a moment to reflect upon my well being.
What do I need the most?
What's my pursue of happiness?
How to distinguish between commonalities and facts?
How do I approach you?
How do I let you go?
How to exist surrounded by nothingness?
How do I let me go?
Maybe I'm waiting to be told the answer,
waiting for someone to whisper in my ear
what I already know.
But if I can't listen to myself, to my own wisdom,
why or how would I listen to someone else?
So, I ask myself: How to let go?
Do nothing, I say.
Want nothing and EVERYTHING will be there for you to take.
Don't obsess over trivialities.
Be always full by the present moment
and forget about what could have been,
both in the future and past tense...
@4am -after meeting with Giacomo
At least I feel like I've learned something: Don't look back, just keep moving forward...
Wait, haven't I learned this a million times before???